


Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset

by Alex51324



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-13
Updated: 2014-06-13
Packaged: 2018-02-04 11:01:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1776739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alex51324/pseuds/Alex51324
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In an A/B/O universe, Tony replaces Paris Hilton as the subject of a certain South Park episode.  When the other Avengers learn of it, they are not amused.  Written for a kinkmeme prompt, summarized in notes.  (Also known as, that one time Alex wrote A/B/O.  I do not share this kink, so I'm unsure how well I've represented it, but some people on the kinkmeme liked it.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset

**Author's Note:**

> Long prompt is long; the aspect of it that the fill focuses on is, in an A/B/O universe, Tony, who is an Omega, gets slut-shamed by the media, and the Avengers defend him. If you want to read the whole prompt (which has many aspects I didn't cover), it's here: Prompt: http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/18271.html?thread=42335839#t42335839

“ _Children_ watch this?” Steve was saying as Tony entered the communal living room. Finding him there, staring at the TV in horror wasn’t exactly a new experience.

“I told you you wouldn’t like it,” Bruce said.

Clint managed to stop snickering long enough to say, “It’s not really for kids. Teenagers and college-age kids watch it, mostly.”

“And Clint, who has the mind of a child,” Natasha added.

Glancing at the TV to see what it was this time, Tony chimed in, “I hope you started with the episode where Cartman makes the kid eat his parents.” If they were going to blow Cap’s mind, they might as well do it right. “Or the one about me.”

Steve was looking even more horrified, so maybe not.

“We started with season one,” Clint said. “It’s…tamer.”

“There’s one of these about _you_?” Steve asked.

“I must’ve missed that one,” Bruce added, looking concerned.

Flopping on the couch, Tony explained, “Yeah, I go to South Park to open a new store called ‘Skanky Spoiled Whore,’ and all the Omega boys in town start dressing like me and making sex tapes. Then Mr. Slave challenges me to a whore-off to see who’s really the biggest skanky whore. It ends with him shoving me up his ass.” Tony chuckled. “Those were the days.”

Abruptly, Tony realized no one else was laughing. Bruce and Steve were looking at him with something like horror, and even Clint looked uncomfortable. “That really isn’t funny,” Steve said.

“You get that it didn’t actually *happen*, right?” Tony checked. “It’s a satire. About how I’m a symbol of shallow, corrupt values and nobody should consider me a role model. You’d probably like it, Cap.” It wasn’t anything he hadn’t already said to Tony’s face, after all. “We have a copy, don’t we, JARVIS? Roll it.”

They only got about five minutes in—up to the point where the cartoon version of Tony rolling around in the back of a limo, dressed in short-shorts, a visible thong, and a mesh top, alternately swigging from a bottle of Ketel One and puking—when a decidedly greenish Bruce said, “Stop the video, JARVIS. Please.”

JARVIS did so, saying, “It would be my pleasure, Dr. Banner.”

JARVIS had never seen the humor in his South Park episode. Unfortunately, it was looking like no one else in the room did, either. “That’s _awful_ , Tony,” Steve said.

Now that Tony thought about it, maybe showing Steve this particular video had been a mistake. He didn’t even approve of the new, improved, 150% more wholesome version of Tony. Hunching his shoulders, Tony said, “It’s, you know, exaggerated. I was never really quite that bad.”

“Of course you weren’t,” Bruce growled. “Get over here.”

Tony hesitated—he wasn’t in the habit of letting the Alphas on the team punish him for the things he did now, let alone things he hadn’t really done years before they’d met. But he had made the poorly-thought-out choice to show them the episode, and considering everybody was looking at him funny now, he didn’t think he was going to get out of it.

So he went over—and was surprised when Bruce pulled him into a tight, but not crushing, hug. “I’m sorry,” he said into Tony’s shoulder.

“Okay…for what?”

“That they say things like that about you.” It was Steve who answered, not Bruce.

“Um...uh, when that episode came out, all my friends thought it was _hilarious_.” And so had Tony. Because...it _was_ funny. Right?

“You’re saying that was on _television_ and no one stuck up for you?” Steve asked.

“Well, Obie got Legal to make them pull it from the syndication lineup,” Tony said. More because of how it affected SI’s reputation than him personally, of course. “You can only get it on the DVD now.”

“Oh, that makes it all right, then,” Bruce said wryly.

Tony shifted around on Bruce’s lap so he could look at all of them. “You’re taking this way too seriously. People say stuff like that about me all the time.” True, he didn’t exactly like it—and he liked it even less when people he actually met in person treated him like the caricature they saw on TV—but he was used to it.

“They shouldn’t,” Natasha said.

“Yeah, well. Like Obie used to say, if I didn’t act like a skanky, spoiled whore, they wouldn’t call me one so much.”

“Obie is…the one who tried to have you killed?” Clint asked.

“Yeah,” Tony said. What did that…oh. “Yeah, so, he was kind of a dick, wasn’t he?”

Somehow, Tony found himself in the middle of an Avengers cuddle pile.

He didn’t mind.


End file.
